Escalator Time Machine

The middle Wheaton Metro escalator is still under construction, still with signs saying “Back in Service August 2011” — I think maybe the maintenance crews are confused, because the signs also display Metro’s new slogan “Metr0 Forward” so maybe the repairs move forward one moment, and back the next?

To me, that seems unlikely.  Much more likely: they are building an escalator time machine that will whisk us back in time, to August 2011 or even earlier, perhaps to a time when Metro ran on time and escalators were not under permanent construction.  If we’re lucky, we could go forward in time and enjoy those same features.  Surely sometime in the future we will have a functional Metro system again?

We have the time machine technology, and if it can be implemented in hot tubs, surely it can be implemented in escalators.  This is the most plausible explanation I can think of. So surely this is what they’re doing.  Surely the work isn’t just inexplicably, frustratingly slow and poorly communicated.

Or maybe all the rain combined with the steamy humidity down at the Wheaton Metro platform is giving me hallucinations.



2 responses to “Escalator Time Machine

  1. And just like that, the middle is functional and the right one is now under construction! Though “under construction” is something I say lightly because no one was actually working on it this morning…but it is closed off. They still haven’t changed their posters on their painted walls, because they still say August 2011!

  2. KILLING me. Metro is trying to kill me. At least maybe that’s one thing they can do successfully…

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